Leaping Forward in Life

I've liked Jeffery Gitomer for a long long time. I've never taken the time to see him live, but have found a couple opportunities to see/hear him speak. This guy is good. In one of his recent newsletters, he said a few things that really meant a lot to me, especially in today's environment where the truth seems so much less appealing than a lie. His rant is a bit salesy, but the philosophy behind it is right in line with what I try to hold myself to. I heard a person say one time, "a lie stuck to is better than the truth told." I think it was a comedian. I laughed. Mostly because I couldn't believe how much conviction with which it was said.

Being honest has always served me well. The truth is so much easier to keep track of. You don't have to remember which story you told. I read a quote sometime in the last year or so...I just can't seem to find anywhere. The message was to the effect of, when you lie, you become a slave to the person (or people) to which you decieved. You must protect the truth from that person (or people) forever. If they should ever discover the truth, they lose trust in you...even if it was 'for your own good.' In effect, you become a slave to everyone you try to decieve...until they eventually find out...you may be tolerated...but you can no longer be trusted. The truth will always set you free.

Near the end of a book I finished recently, it relayed a story about human behavior...social dynamics. The gist of it is this: sometimes people feel short changed, wanting, un-loved, stroke deprived, or threatened...you get the idea. Somewhere in life they learned how to get their needs met...even if to the detriment of others. In our terrible-twos, we learn even negative attention is attention. If attention is what we want, attention is what we'll get. Anyway, before this goes too off topic, people make themselves feel worthy, better, accomplished...whatever it is they feel they need...they get this in different ways. By the way, the Scorpion Story I told in the end of the "Stacked Responses" post was told near the end of this book as well.

This book relayed a story about a guy who got his needs met by destroying others. Now I'm not talking physically of course, although I'm sure history can give us a few examples of it. I'm talking mentally, socially, emotionally....in those kinds of ways. His MO was "destroy the competition." Unfortunately, if you weren't with him, you were the competition. His world-view was that of if your not with me, your against me. He felt threatened. It didn't matter if his perception was true or not, it was real to him. Perception is Reality. If he had the assertivness and tact to seek the truth, the book probably wouldn't have been written.

Andre Gide once said, "Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it." Perception is reality. If your perception is different than the truth you seek, you'll feel it. "All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them." ~Galileo

At a conference I attended recently, it was said, "Faith and belief is the death of education. Never stop being a student. For if you should stop seeking the truth, stop learning, you accept an idea, a situation, a value, or lesson, or judgement...and it is at that point you have something to lose." When you stop being a student, you have something to lose, honesty and truth be damned, you'll be more susceptible to lying to keep from losing. The context made it much more profound, however, the message of never stop being a student is powerful. Religion and politics are great examples of this concept.

It amazes me how difficult it is for some people to just be truthful...honest...genuine. Some people hide so much, decieve, and manipulate. For some, it's a lifestyle. It's how they get theirs...it gives them value by manipulating others for personal gain...be it financial, emotional, spiritual, mental, whatever. Instead of being a positive contribution, they choose the negative. It doesn't matter to them if it hurt someone else, they believe they are in a better place for it. It's in their nature. Another quote comes to mind..."We can all justify anything in our own minds." ~unkown~ It never matters to them, right/wrong, good/bad...they've long since rationalized to themselves why it's OK for them to behave the way they do. Their internal rationalization makes the deception easier and more believable. It's easier to speak with conviction when you feel justified.

No matter how good a positive person is in an interaction with one of these kinds of people, without a student mentality, the onlooker's perception will be the bad look good and the good look bad. The positive person will not retaliate as they know, "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." ~Confucius~

If you have earned and kept my respect, I will be the first to help set the truth free. The trouble with most people is they've quit being a student and aren't open any longer to new ideas, new developments, changes...anything new. Other's have a fear...if they knew the truth, their new reality would be too different for them to be able to cope. These are sometimes False Expectations Appearing Real.

You have to be willing to continue being a student. Sometimes the truth hurts. If you've earned and kept my respect, and setting the truth free causes pain, I will also be right there to deal with it and get you through it. You can shed the skin of deciet knowing you have a caring and strong support right there to get you through a reality adjustment.

Would you return the favor?