Say it Loud, Say it Plowed

While out with some great friends exploring the town recently...I stumbled across something that brought back a memory. We found it in an establishment we'd like to be tied to...for a variety of reasons (the total number you'll learn of later). The story started a long while back in Maine, I found myself researching a topic professional style (on the internet, where everything is true) and found a website...apparently for a print magazine. One of it's mottos is "Standing up for Your Right to Get Falling Down Drunk."

I read it in one word..."Freedom" (a topic for another time).

I found most everything at least mildly entertaining...some things I found actually laughed out loud...and believe I even learned a thing or two. Sometimes, the helpful editorial staff may even dole out personalized education:

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Dear Concerned Cad, I hear a lot of talk about “moderate drinking,” and how good it is for you, but what exactly is the definition of such? Everyone seems to have a different opinion. What’s a good amount to drink, anyway?—Confused in Columbus

Dear Confused: There was a time when moderate drinking meant drinking as much as you liked, so long as it didn’t cause any problems. That perfectly sensible definition, however, doesn’t sit well with the regimented mind set of the modern Nanny State.

And even the nannies can’t come to terms. The FDA, for example, says two drinks a day for men and one for women is moderate drinking, regardless of your weight and tolerance. The UK government’s estimation is about twice that. Other European countries reckon up to five drinks a day for a male is perfectly acceptable, while a growing number of US health groups swear that five drinks in one session (even if the session occupies an entire day) is honest-to-God binge drinking.

Consider it: drink one beer every two hours over a ten hour period and you’re — Great God! — binging! Or what we drunks like to call sobering up.

Some anti-alcohol groups have even gone so far as to suggest that anyone who drinks 3 to 4 drinks a week is a “heavy drinker.” Which is perfectly hilarious. What they’re trying to do is lower the standards to the degree that even a grandmother who enjoys a glass of wine with dinner will be shamed into giving up the hooch entirely.

Finally, asking me how much you should drink is akin to asking a deacon how much you need to pray to get into Heaven. Some people never pray (except perhaps in those hours of extreme need and fear), some think once or twice a day is plenty, and there are those so caught up in the fervor of devotion they prefer to pray all the live long day (and night).

Ultimately it is up the acolyte—whether we’re talking about drinking or praying—who must decide how much he needs to do to get to his or her version of paradise. Concerned Cad

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Ah, back to our roots "...Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of Happiness."

At any rate...at our new whiskey bar, cleverly named "Whiskey Bar", we learned of a 2-part, 48 step drinking program and signed up for it. It's quite different than the seemingly more popular "12 step program" to get you away from the sauce...8 times over. Remember, we're not looking to get out of something this good...the bulk of us know how to manage ourselves. I don't believe your going to see any of us anywhere near rehab for quite a while. Rehab is for quitters anyway. Nobody I hold near and dear gives up that easily.

Double-Plus-Good-Bonus: At our new-found establishment, we also were tipped off to a very nearby distillery bottling event that we just might be able to snag a bottle of good modern-fashioned whiskey for our efforts. I'm pretty sure we're signed up for the program...but we're still waiting for the results.

I love my friends...especially my newest addition...but sometimes it feels like there is a constant, looming expiration date. The feeling does not come without merit as the very real possibility has presented itself several times already. I've been told every relationship has a beginning and an end. From time to time the possibility of an early ending has caused me a lot of very unexpected anxiety. When we're together, it's mostly exciting, always fun, and sometimes its overall educational. I still believe true friendships will never expire.

All the Best