I've met this person who is 31 years old and behaves as if she were a child, always. It is rare to find her acting as an adult or parent as Dorothy Jongeward describes in the book Born to Win. I tried to take her to this restaurant last month (January) but found out they were closed for vacations and upkeep.
It started with a phone call. I returned her call from the day before. I was on 10 minute drive home from the gym at about noon. As usual, she does most of the talking. 90% of the conversation is a monologue coming from her. She went on and on and on about her situation for which she is 100% responsible. Personally, I think deep down she is looking for someone to come bail her out. I've decided a long time ago that it is not going to be me.
The highlight reel goes something like this: no job in over a year, traveled the country by leased car on cash/savings, damaged the leased car, filed for bankruptcy back home in Milwaukee, got a place in Denver and paid 6 months rent up front, forgot to pay insurance, manufacturer wants the car back in good condition (which now requires $5,000 in repairs), and she just found out that her bankruptcy ruling says she now owes another $5,000, and she has $231 to her name. At about the 30 minute mark I decided it was time to get off the phone and move on. I told her to get up, get showered, get ready and I'd meet her at 2. And since she didn't have insurance, I'd do the driving. My plan was to take her to a coffee shop, sit her down and give her the "you better pull your head out of your ass, kid" talk.
I swung by the grocery store, grabbed some chow for lunch at home, showered, got ready, loaded up my car with my laptop and headed out. On my way I called her to see how her progress was coming along and she was just getting out of the shower and needed extra time. So I drove over to a nearby restaurant to pirate their wi-fi. Instead I took a tax call from a buddy. I finish up and head over to her place to pick her up.
Initially, I drive over to Cafe Europa, but upon seeing all the cars parked out front, I opted for a different location. I wasn't looking for a crowded place. Option 2 was Stellas Coffee Shop. I found a parking place immediately in front of the place. We walked in and chatted a bit about nothing in particular. We ordered our coffees and began looking for a place to sit down only to find that every single table in the place was full. Even outside on the patio with 40 degree weather. I decided this was not going to be a fit so we got back in the car and drove off.
I was trying to think of another place to go. Then it occurred to me, White Fence Farm should be open! I whipped out the old iPhone and got them on the phone. They were indeed back from January vacation, but didn't open until 4:30. So we needed to go to a place to kill some time. As I got off the phone she asked me if I had just called My Brother's Bar downtown. I said nope, but that's a great place to kill an hour and a half.
I parked the car behind the building. As we walked around front, I asked her if she ever applied to work at that spice shop a half block away. She went on with some kind of excuse about not applying, but also made mention that one of our mutual friends who works for the same company had recommended her to go there and apply. I also asked if she had applied to the Vitamin Cottage across the street. She said she did but never heard back.
We sit down in a little table at the back of the place and start talking. We talk about school a little and how that might be a great option since she's been so broke for so long that student aid could do her wonders. She gives me this long drawn out woulda coulda shoulda but ain't gonna do it because its really just class warfare everybody thinks I should blather. She's very defiant. After 3 double whiskeys and a couple conversational diversions, I decide it is time to go. It's not quite late enough to make it to the farm yet as they don't open until 4:30. So I figure I should just walk her over to the spice shop and the cottage and make her apply for work.
After walking her in and having her chat with people, we bounce back to the car and head over to the White Fence Farm. I had never been, but it seemed like it was as I imagined it would be. Farmish, with a Cracker Barrel style gift shop. Upon entry into a new place I tend to like to say, "This is our first time here." It surprises me sometimes how the service is, and sometimes how the service is not when saying something like that on the way in.
I was on the lookout for this tiny little pamphlet with a short story on the back. We got our number and headed for the bathrooms. As I looked over my shoulder, I FOUND IT. I grabbed 2, handed her 1 and told her to look it over and headed to the bathroom. The pamphlet is about the size of human hand with the fingers close together. It's not very big. It has a hand stenciled image of a bag with string tying it closed at the top. It has a few coins stacked neatly to the right, and in the middle it has a couple of neatly bundled stacks of cash. At the top it says, "The Secret of How to Make Money".
Inside it has 3 very over sized words that take up the entire double page spread, "GO TO WORK". Then, on the back it has this story:
Work
If you are poor...work.
If you are rich...continue to work.
If you are burdened with seemingly unfair responsibilities...work.
If you are happy...keep right on working.
Idleness gives room for doubts and fear.
If disappointments come...work.
If sorrow overwhelms you, and loved ones are not true...work.
When faith falters and reason fails...just work.
When dreams are shattered and hope seems dead...work.
Work as if your life was in peril.
It really is.
No matter what ails you...work.
Work faithfully...work with faith.
Work is the greatest remedy available.
Work will cure both mental and physical afflictions.
Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do which must be done whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best will breed in you temperance, self-control, diligence, strength of will, content, and a hundred other virtues which the idle will never know.
We both ordered the chicken dinner. It came with a heap of family style sides. The table next to us was 2 women and a man, probably in their late 70's or even early 80's. the proportions were about right for that age. They were kind and polite, although I didn't interact with them. The chicken dinner was down home nice. It came with 4 pieces of chicken each. I wound up eating 7 of the 8 in front of us in about the time it took her to eat half of 1 breast. I reached across the table and took it from her. On my plate I commenced to remove all the meat from the bone and slid it back on to her plate. I ordered dessert which a hostess lady took off our bill for us.
I drove her back to her place and we parted ways. I told her to read that story again before she goes to bed and upon waking up in the morning. I also reminded her that people our age can no longer afford to be children, as much as we might like to be. There comes a time when we must own up to our own situation in life and deal with it as an adult. The afternoon cost me nearly $100, probably money I shouldn't have spent. Hopefully it has a positive impact.
No comments:
Post a Comment